Marriage - St. Raymond Catholic Parish

Marriage

Some questions & answers...

Your Wedding Day is, without a doubt, one of the most important days of your life. We are happy for you and wish to make your wedding a smooth and happy experience. The following is designed to assist you in planning your wedding here at St. Raymond.

We will do all we can to assist you in the celebration of this great moment in your life. Please take the time to prepare well and you will have nothing to worry about on that day.

What do we do first?

The first step is to go to the parish office and fill out the marriage questionnaire. If you prefer to have a particular priest do your wedding, indicate it on the form. If you are not registered in the parish, this is a good time to do so.

A minimum of six months, but preferably a year, is necessary to prepare for marriage within the church.

What happens then?

The priest will contact you to schedule a meeting with you. He will talk to you about your relationship and will begin the paperwork.

Please note: Once you have met with the priest two or three times, he will set your wedding date. While the parish office can confirm date availability, the date is not booked until the priest puts it on the calendar.

What is this "paperwork"?

The priest must determine your freedom to marry under canon law. There are questions the couple answers and a form to be given to a close relative or friend (usually parents). This is taken to a priest or deacon locally who will ask them the questions and send the forms back to St. Raymond. It is a short and easy process.

And, then what?

You continue meeting with the priest approximately once a month until your wedding. He is primarily concerned with facilitating dialogue between the couple. Towards the end of the process, you will meet with the wedding coordinator to discuss the details of your ceremony.

Required Documents

The priest will work with you to make sure all necessary paperwork is completed and in order.

A Baptismal Certificate: The certificate is from the Church of your Baptism and should be issued within six months of your wedding date. It cannot be a copy of your original certificate.

Attend an Engaged Encounter: Because of the seriousness and sacredness of your matrimonial commitment, all couples are required to attend an Engaged Encounter. This course provides the couple with an opportunity to explore various aspects of married life, e.g., children, finances, sexuality, interpersonal relationships, God-in-marriage, faith commitment, etc.

The Engaged Encounter is offered through the Diocese of Oakland’s Family Life Center. Information regarding available dates, times and the costs may be obtained by contacting the Family Life Center directly by telephone at (510) 893-4711 or visit their web site at http://www.oakflo.com/marriage_prep.html.

Please note: You must meet with the priest and have your wedding date set by him before you contact the Family Life Center.

A Marriage License: The wedding coordinator will give you information on where to obtain a license.

If one or both of you has been married before, you need to present an official Declaration of Nullity to show you are free to marry. If you need an annulment, the date may not be set for the wedding until nullity has been granted.

Other Policies

Couples are expected to meet with the priest a minimum of six times before the wedding. They will meet with the wedding coordinator at least once.

The official witnesses are your Best Man and Maid of Honor. They do not have to be Catholic but they must be 18 years of age or older. Signing the license is a civil law requirement.

Weddings are generally celebrated in the church or the small chapel. If you wish to be married at another church, you must discuss it with the priest assisting with your preparation well in advance of the wedding date.

If you wish a priest from outside the parish to preside, you must discuss this with St. Raymond’s parish priest. Our own priest is still going to be the one assisting you with setting your date.

During the season of Lent, no weddings are performed in the week prior to Easter Sunday.

Music and Musicians

Certain parts of the liturgy will require a cantor to sing and lead the people. The parish musicians will be happy to help you with selection and performance.

Recorded background music is not allowed.

Visiting musicians are allowed only with the approval of the parish Director of Music.

Flowers and Church Decorations

Flowers are an expression of joy and festivity and may be used to decorate the church. You are free to select your own florist.

You may decorate the pews with ribbons, flowers, or other appropriate items. Please use ribbons or pew clips to attach your decorations; do not use tape, glue, tacks, or nails.

Because the flowers belong to you, you may take them with you after the wedding ceremony is complete. You are not required to leave them in the church.

Church Decoration

The altar for all weddings will be the color of the season. The banners and other environment decorations will remain the color of the seasons (Green in Ordinary Time).

Because of the high liability risk, runners and the throwing of rice, bird seed or flower petals is not allowed.

Photos/Video

You are welcome and free to select your own photographer. However, due to the sacredness of the church building and the sanctuary, and to safeguard the order and dignity of the ceremony, the photographer is required to comply with the following parish policies regarding weddings. Photographers who do not comply with this policy will not be allowed to take pictures in the church.

The photographer does not go into the Sanctuary at any time.

Floodlights and flash cubes are not used.

The 30 minute time frame following the ceremony is not to be abused.

The ceremony may be videotaped providing the person doing the videotaping has discussed the procedures with the wedding coordinator prior to the wedding. Small clip-on microphones for sound may be used.

Wedding Rehearsal

Wedding rehearsal dates and times are scheduled through the wedding coordinator.

We ask that the entire party be on time for your rehearsal.

Stipends and Costs

The usual stipend for a wedding at St. Raymond is $250.00. The stipend must be paid prior to or at the rehearsal.

It is customary to acknowledge the priest with an additional gift in thanks for the time he has spent with you. The wedding coordinator can help you determine an appropriate amount.